Showing posts with label breathe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breathe. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
The Breast Cancer Chronicles Volume Eight or Nine, I've lost count: Tomorrow's the Day!
Tomorrow is the big day. Two boobs are coming off and the beginnings of two fabulous new ones (extenders) are going in to get the next phase started.
This will be quick. I am exhausted, as I have crammed as much fun, friends, and family into the last few weeks as humanly possible. Today was sincerely one of the most wonderful, memorable, restorative, soul feeding days of my life. Thank you to everyone who had any part in it.
Hair chopped off: check
"Before" picture taken: check
First boat trip with Monster: check
Dinners with the family: check
Fun times with friends: check
Laughter until tears flowed and I was in pain every day: check
Smile from ear to ear: check
Gloves up playlist(s): check
Deep breaths in and out: check
Thank you to all of you who have called, texted, emailed, FB or Twitter messages, and snail mailed cards, gifts, and care packages. I have smiled and sometimes cried, too, as I opened it. The thank you notes are going to take me ages, but I am already thanking you in my heart every minute of every day.
All will be well. Updates will follow as soon as I can get them posted, or have someone post for me. All will be well. I am surrounded by love on every front. I have the best doctors and hospitals I could ever have chosen. All will be well.
Please be kind to each other the way you have all been so kind to me. Please be even kinder to yourself. You are important. You are special. You are needed. You matter. You are valued. You have gifts to share with our world. Please know that you make my life better each and every day. Our job is to leave our world a better place than we found it. We must each work to do that every day with every breath. Hug someone you love today. Forgive someone today, whether they have apologized or not, for yourself. Forgive. Wrap each other in love. I will be drugged up and sending only positive energy and love into the world for each of you, and those I have yet to know.
Can you tell I am getting tired? Will likely not even proof this, if you don't tell my students.
See you on the flat side. Hehe!
Peace and love to you all.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
On Joining the Hyster Sisters
For the last ten days I have been trying to figure out how to share what is going on in my world right now because I need all of the healing energy I can get. Most of the time, I am so busy telling myself that it isn't going to be any big deal that I don't have time to think about the fact that it IS kind of a big deal. I wish it felt like a better one.
One week from Tuesday, on August 5th, I will join the noble ranks of the "Hyster Sisters," when I have a hysterectomy of my very own. (Cue the fireworks!). Again, I keep telling myself that it is nothing. Millions of women have them every day, many of whom are very close to me. They are all fine. I should be, too. Right?
I am making To Do lists, making lists for my lists, checking things off, and adding new things to my lists at breakneck speed. I am exhausted! But the minute my heads hits the pillow, my brain kicks into overdrive and I have to listen to the Buddhify meditation app over and over just to get to sleep.
My dreams have been ridiculous! I remember them when I first wake up, but they are so bizarre and disturbing that I'm pretty sure I am blocking them out completely within the first hour after opening my eyes. It is so loud in my head! Does this happen to everyone? Does it ever stop?
They tell me my recovery depends on many things, including whether or not it is laparoscopic, traditional cut, or a combination. That could mean anywhere from two weeks to two months or so! I am a teacher. School starts for me eight days after the surgery, and the kids return exactly two weeks after the surgery. This is one of my biggest worries. I know that my school family is supporting me through this, and they will do all they can to help, but what do I do about not being there when the kids start? How will that work? How do I prepare someone else to start the year with my kids in just a few days? I have so much that I want to do with them... I have so much that I want to do. Period. The important stuff will get done, right? It always does, right? All will be well, right? Those are the things I have saying to other people for years. Why is it so hard for me to listen to it when I say it to myself now?
Hyster Sisters out there, have you wisdom to offer on this subject? Thoughts from anyone would be most welcome. I am trying so hard to be calm, Zen, and accepting of this change. But, good gracious, it is hard in the quiet moments! At least I finally wrote some of it out of my head. Now I need to go make another list.
Peace, love, and light.
~BettyRants
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