Monday, February 21, 2011

On convertibles...

For most of my life I have dreamed of owning a convertible.  I am a girl who needs to feel the air moving on my face.  I need the ceiling fan on to sleep at night.  If I can have the windows open in the house, they are open.  Being trapped in a room with stale, stagnant air that never moves is my personal Hell.  That having been said, I am also a girl who is, well let's just say...cautious, shall we?  My grandfather, The Bossman, would not allow me to have a convertible because they were too dangerous.  He was certain that either I would flip it over and roll out the top, or someone would come right up to me at a stop light with a gun and shoot me dead for my shiny convertible.  All of this was reiterated to me over and over from a very young age, so it became part of my inner monologue on convertibles.  "Oh, they are so beautiful.  But does that girl know that she is just a sitting duck for that man at the stop light?  I bet he has a gun and is going to kill her any minute now and steal that car!  Bless her poor, naive, heart!"  Have I mentioned that it is loud in my head?

In 2004 I got closer to my dream car.  I bought a bright green VW Beetle with a sunroof, named it Sprout, and I was living right!  The top was open all the time, weather be damned!  Sprout and I had a blast together!  I loved my Little Sprout.  When, this Fall, it came time for Sprout to retire to The Farm (Just let me have this one, okay?) I felt like I was taking my dog to be put down.  It was traumatic.  I took pictures of our last drive to school together...seriously, I did.  I posted them on Facebook.  Then, I met Sprite! 

Sprite!  My convertible bright green VW bug!!!!! At forty years old I decided to Hell with the voices,  I was going to have my convertible.  If I get carjacked at a stop light, then The Bossman was right, but damn, I will have enjoyed the ride!

Now here is the thing about driving a convertible.  I consider it a moral imperative to have the top down unless it is raining.  I do live in Florida, after all.  The funniest things happen when you drive a car with the top down.  People on the street talk to you all the time!  In my seven minute drive to work one morning, two different people stopped to talk to me.  One of them rolled down his window at the light to tell me I was going to need an umbrella.  The other, a woman walking her dogs, said she wished she was me.  I replied, "Yeah, it is pretty great!"   One of my coworkers was following me, and she asked it that happened all the time.  I had to tell her it does.  People smile and wave every time they see me drive by with the top down.  It is hilarious.  Sometimes they smile and punch each other - remember it is a Punchbuggy.  That always makes me laugh.  Wherever I go, my car makes me smile.

There are a few challenges I have encountered.  Sprinklers...hard to avoid.  Recycled water sprinklers can just be gross.  I keep good smelling spray in the car to combat that.  Garbage trucks.  Following them in a convertible smells much worse than in a regular car, but it does give you the opportunity to smile and thank the guys who have to do that icky job, and they seem to appreciate that.  The latest challenge I have encountered was with music.  You may remember that I discovered the Cee Lo Green song, "F#*k You!" after the Grammys the other night.  I have now fallen in love with the song and only downloaded the "explicit" version, rather than "Forget You!" as performed on the Grammys.  Well, here's the thing: I'm thinking that song is best enjoyed at an ear-popping full volume.  I mean seriously, when you are in the mood, like I was the other day on my way home, to let that song fly, you are in the mood to blast it!  Right?  In a convertible, you can never be sure whom you are going to subject to that music.  I put it on as I was pulling out of the parking lot at school, so I had to turn it WAY DOWN, because that is just not the sort of thing a middle school teacher should be listening to on campus.  So then I turned it up a little.  Then I hit a residential neighborhood.  Dog walker - volume down.  Past him.  Back up.  Kid on bike.  WAY DOWN..."Ain't that some Sh...?"  And now I am humming "F#*k You and F#*K her, too," realizing that this really isn't cutting it because I really needed to blast it.  Everyone did smile and wave, though, and I continued to hum all through the night.
Perhaps it is time to download the sanitized version.  It is a beautiful day, and Sprite and I have a lot of driving to do!

Monday, February 14, 2011

You asked for it!

Okay, Betties, you asked for it!  You have been after me to blog for over a year now.  Well, here you go.  I am blogging!  Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!
Being a champion procrastinator, I am creating this blog, finally, after procrastinating for so very long, instead of doing the real work on which I need to focus this Valentine's night, or paying the bills...really need to do that!  I am certain that is next on my list.  I am getting right on that.  Here I go...Any minute now...
Or, I could rant a little more.
So, in an effort to avoid working last night, I watched the Grammy Awards for the first time in at least ten years.  I must be getting old.  All I could think about as I watched Eminem giving his "brilliant" performance was,"For the love of Pete, pull your pants up in the back you fool!  You are wearing a belt!  Use it to hoist your jeans up over your behind!  Nobody needs to see that!  Who are you inviting in back there?"  Only some of that was I able to keep inside my head...I tried, really I did, but it just got too loud in there and I had to let it fly! 
On the flip side, I will say that I cracked right up to Cee-Lo Green, dressed like one of the Mardi Gras Chiefs from Treme', and Gwyneth Paltrow singing "Forget You" with the puppets.  That was the first time I had heard any version of that song, and I immediately went to iTunes and downloaded the explicit version which I have been singing in my head, and occasionally under my breath all day!  I even quoted the clean version today, explaining to one of my classes what the yearbook company would be telling us if we miss our deadline.  "Forget you!"  They laughed.  Kids are easy...sometimes.
At the end of the day, I love that I know that song!  I will be playing it my head constantly now.  I think it will make me smile more, and I smile a lot as it is. 
I have the best life of anyone I know.  I have a partner who loves me and who I love.  He challenges me, and I challenge him.  We grow together.  I have an amazing family who not only love, but actually like each other.  I have friends who I treasure above any measure.  I have a job, a home, relatively good health, and the ability to laugh every day.  My life is good, and I am so thankful to everyone in it to helping make it amazing.
It's good to be a Betty.
Okay, now I'll go do the stuff on my list.
Happy Valentine's Night!
Thanks for reading!