Monday, February 21, 2011

On convertibles...

For most of my life I have dreamed of owning a convertible.  I am a girl who needs to feel the air moving on my face.  I need the ceiling fan on to sleep at night.  If I can have the windows open in the house, they are open.  Being trapped in a room with stale, stagnant air that never moves is my personal Hell.  That having been said, I am also a girl who is, well let's just say...cautious, shall we?  My grandfather, The Bossman, would not allow me to have a convertible because they were too dangerous.  He was certain that either I would flip it over and roll out the top, or someone would come right up to me at a stop light with a gun and shoot me dead for my shiny convertible.  All of this was reiterated to me over and over from a very young age, so it became part of my inner monologue on convertibles.  "Oh, they are so beautiful.  But does that girl know that she is just a sitting duck for that man at the stop light?  I bet he has a gun and is going to kill her any minute now and steal that car!  Bless her poor, naive, heart!"  Have I mentioned that it is loud in my head?

In 2004 I got closer to my dream car.  I bought a bright green VW Beetle with a sunroof, named it Sprout, and I was living right!  The top was open all the time, weather be damned!  Sprout and I had a blast together!  I loved my Little Sprout.  When, this Fall, it came time for Sprout to retire to The Farm (Just let me have this one, okay?) I felt like I was taking my dog to be put down.  It was traumatic.  I took pictures of our last drive to school together...seriously, I did.  I posted them on Facebook.  Then, I met Sprite! 

Sprite!  My convertible bright green VW bug!!!!! At forty years old I decided to Hell with the voices,  I was going to have my convertible.  If I get carjacked at a stop light, then The Bossman was right, but damn, I will have enjoyed the ride!

Now here is the thing about driving a convertible.  I consider it a moral imperative to have the top down unless it is raining.  I do live in Florida, after all.  The funniest things happen when you drive a car with the top down.  People on the street talk to you all the time!  In my seven minute drive to work one morning, two different people stopped to talk to me.  One of them rolled down his window at the light to tell me I was going to need an umbrella.  The other, a woman walking her dogs, said she wished she was me.  I replied, "Yeah, it is pretty great!"   One of my coworkers was following me, and she asked it that happened all the time.  I had to tell her it does.  People smile and wave every time they see me drive by with the top down.  It is hilarious.  Sometimes they smile and punch each other - remember it is a Punchbuggy.  That always makes me laugh.  Wherever I go, my car makes me smile.

There are a few challenges I have encountered.  Sprinklers...hard to avoid.  Recycled water sprinklers can just be gross.  I keep good smelling spray in the car to combat that.  Garbage trucks.  Following them in a convertible smells much worse than in a regular car, but it does give you the opportunity to smile and thank the guys who have to do that icky job, and they seem to appreciate that.  The latest challenge I have encountered was with music.  You may remember that I discovered the Cee Lo Green song, "F#*k You!" after the Grammys the other night.  I have now fallen in love with the song and only downloaded the "explicit" version, rather than "Forget You!" as performed on the Grammys.  Well, here's the thing: I'm thinking that song is best enjoyed at an ear-popping full volume.  I mean seriously, when you are in the mood, like I was the other day on my way home, to let that song fly, you are in the mood to blast it!  Right?  In a convertible, you can never be sure whom you are going to subject to that music.  I put it on as I was pulling out of the parking lot at school, so I had to turn it WAY DOWN, because that is just not the sort of thing a middle school teacher should be listening to on campus.  So then I turned it up a little.  Then I hit a residential neighborhood.  Dog walker - volume down.  Past him.  Back up.  Kid on bike.  WAY DOWN..."Ain't that some Sh...?"  And now I am humming "F#*k You and F#*K her, too," realizing that this really isn't cutting it because I really needed to blast it.  Everyone did smile and wave, though, and I continued to hum all through the night.
Perhaps it is time to download the sanitized version.  It is a beautiful day, and Sprite and I have a lot of driving to do!


  1. What a great story. I hadn't read it in a long time. Stay safe.

  2. That was your second post. Over 1 1/2 yrs ago. Wow.

  3. Thanks, Dad. It seems like forever ago now.